Holding You
by luvsbitca
Summary: Hank is captured on a mission, when she comes back Alex helps her. Everything that happens causes a change in their relationship. Always a girl!Hank, torture  WARNING - At some point there will be discussion of someone being beaten for info
1. Stay

**Title – **Holding You  
><strong>Author – <strong>Moonbeam  
><strong>Rating – <strong>R (descriptions of whipping for torture but very lightly done)**  
>Summary –<strong> Hank is captured on a mission, when she comes back Alex helps her. Everything that happens causes a change in their relationship.  
><strong>Warnings – <strong>Always a girl!Hank, torture, hurt/comfort  
><strong>Disclaimer – <strong>I don't own anything, I wish.  
><strong>Author's Notes – <strong>I had this thought when I was trying to sleep. In my head Hank was a girl. I was going to change it but it just didn't seem right. I don't know maybe this is crap, let me know.

**Holding You**  
>by Moonbeam<p>

Alex opened the door silently. The room was lit by a dull lamp. From where he stood at the door he could see the window being lit by the thunderstorm happening outside he could also see the body in the bed. She was curled around a large pillow, her back exposed to the night air, some sort of t-shirt was covering her but it had been pulled around to leave her back bare, completely bare. Alex had no choice but to see it. He'd been there when they pulled her out. He'd picked her up and heard her pained groans as he'd run from the building. He had had no idea what was under the top she'd been wearing, wasn't even aware of the blood that had covered his arm until they were back in the Blackbird and flying home. He hadn't wanted to put her down but she needed to be strapped it. When he'd placed her down she had groaned and reached for him but that was when he'd seen it, when they'd all seen it; the blood red stain on the back of her top where parts of her X-men suit were ripped away. Alex had reached for her but Charles stopped him, told him he needed to sit down, vacated the seat next to where she was, told him that they needed to wait until they were back at the mansion to assess the damage. Alex had slid into the seat next to her, his hand wrapped around hers as her head lolled to the side held in her harness and she 'slept' through the trip. He'd glared at Eric as the man tried to help him get her out of the plane, he could do it. He'd picked her up, she was still a little taller than him even after his last growth spurt but there was nothing to her but bone and skin so picking her up felt easy, too damned easy he was going to have to start making sure she ate more. He's carried her down to the medical lab, a woman he didn't know was standing there waiting for him. He didn't want to leave her but Charles had been insistent that the woman standing in front of him was an excellent doctor and could be trusted and needed time to assess her injuries. Alex had left, he'd gone to Charles' study found the hardest alcohol he could and went to his room where he stripped off his uniform, crawled into bed and drank until he could sit there and think about something other than how pale she was, the stains that were obviously her own blood, the pained moan when he'd picked her up, the fact he'd left her down there alone with a stranger. Five swigs and the image was still burned there so he dropped the bottle on the night stand and just sat there staring at the wall until the Professor had told him she was back in her room. He had continued to sit there for what felt like hours until it was dark and the storm outside was completely settled overhead lighting the sky outside his room as the windows shook with thunder.

He can see what the shirt and suit were hiding now. He stopped to count, 36, thirty-six marks around her back, red and swollen where someone beat her. His fists clench but then the lightning strikes again and he realises she might not be asleep.

"Alex?" She asks even though she always knows it's him.

"Yeah," her head lifts up and she tries to turn but without moving her back. "Wait, I'll come around there." He moves around the bed and without even thinking about it settles down on the mattress next to her knees, she's almost curled up in the foetal position, her body curling around the pillow to protect her back. He can feel her knees pressed into his side. He should move but likes the press of her, knowing she is right there in front of him.

Alex stares at her for long moments. Her eyes are holding his but flick to the side every time the night sky is lit up.

"Do you want me to open the curtains so you can see properly?" He starts dumbly.

"No, I just like to listen."

"Okay." They continue to sit in silence until finally Alex opens his mouth again. "Hank?"

"Not yet Alex, later, tomorrow, next week. Just not yet." Hank begs her eyes closed.

"Okay," Alex reaches out a hand for her shoulder but the sky lights up and the extra light lets him see the bruising on her shoulder, his hand just hovers over her feeling the extra heat of her skin before he pulls it back into his lap. "I should leave you to get some sleep."

Hank reached out on long, pale arm and rests her hand on his forearm. "Would you," her eyes turn up to him and she seemed to run out of steam. "Do you think…nevermind."

Alex sat there and looked at her for a moment after she closed her eyes. "Can you move?" he asked finally.

"What?" Hank's eyes shot open looking a little dazed.

"Can you lift up at all?"

"A little why?"

"Come on," Alex helped lift Hank's upper body, gently his stomach clenching at the pained groan that slipped through her attempts to stifle the pain he could clearly see around her eyes now that he was close enough. He pulled her pillow out from beneath her and slid himself in its place. When he was laying down she settled back onto him with a sigh.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked as he threw one arm across the bed the other curling around her forearm. Hank wriggled a little biting at her lip before settling half on top of him. "My God we need to feed you. You are way too light." Alex said at the feeling of her draped over him.

"I'm fine, it just hurts when I breathe or move or think too hard." Alex chuckled because that's what Hank had been going for and because she had scrunched her nose up as she said it and if Alex didn't laugh he would have done something very stupid like lean down and finally kiss her.

"Thank you, I didn't like being here alone." Hank confessed quietly.

"No problem, go to sleep."

"Okay." Hank let out a deep breath and just relaxed against him. He stroked her forearm for a while until her breathing completely evened out and he could feel that she was asleep. He wanted to check her over, see what was done to her but the professor had assured him that the worst case scenario that had been playing in his head since they saw the blood was not the case…they had only beaten her and tortured her to find out something. Alex could feel himself heating up so he turned his head and breathed in the scent wafting off of her neck and the fruity scent of shampoo that hung around her. Alex let his eyes close and let the feeling of Hank back and safe float around him until he fell asleep as well.

Alex woke when someone entered the room. Raven stopped short at the door. "Alex!" she whispered. "What are you doing here?"

"Hank, she didn't want to be alone."

Raven frowned. "I offered to stay with her." Raven shook her head. "Of course. It's time for her medication and more salve. I told the doctor I'd handle it, Hank didn't seem to like having a stranger touch her."

"Okay," Alex curled his hand around Hank's cheek, stroking at the soft skin there. "Hank." He called nudging at one of her legs where it had settled between his in the night. "Hank." Alex said again as she started to stir.

"'lex?" Hank muttered burrowing her head into his chest and nuzzling against him as she woke up.

"It's time for your medication and some salve."

"No thanks." She muttered to his left nipple where it was hidden but very aware under his shirt.

"Hank, if you don't take you medication something bad will happen."

"You will wake up in the morning in huge amounts of pain or an infection could set in." Raven supplied from the door. Alex looked up remembering she was there and found her looking at him with a hopeful, knowing look. Alex couldn't find it in himself to care. Everyone knew he liked the oblivious doctor but her, they had all told him in varying ways and at different times to tell her instead of acting like an arse but she deserved so much better than him and her barely maintained tolerance of him was well known.

"Raven?" Hank asked looking up at Alex.

"Yeah, I'll put the salve on your back."

"Tablet first please." Hank tried to prop herself up but the pull of skin over her back made her sink back down into Alex panting. Alex lifted himself up onto his elbow, propping her up just enough that she would be able to swallow the tablets and water. He dropped back onto the bed slowly. "Thank you." She muttered into his chest.

Raven settled onto the bed behind Hank, pulled over a large jar of something and opened it, the smell hit him strongly, similar to the smell that surrounded Hank but much stronger. Hank curled her arm around Alex's torso and gripped his hip, turning her face into his neck before Raven had even touched the salve to her skin. Hank immediately tensed and Alex lifted his hand to tangle in her hair from where it had been laying on the bed. The other ran up and down her arm trying to sooth her. It took Raven five minutes to coat her back in the ointment, the entire time Hank was pressed tightly against him whimpering as quietly as she could.

Raven went and washed her hands while Hank tried to relax her clenched muscles. Alex continued running his fingers through her hair, sliding his hand up and down her arm. "Hank? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just so tender." Alex could feel the wet area of his neck where her tears were soaking it.

"Can I do anything?"

"Don't let go." She muttered into his skin before she started sobbing against him, her entire body convulsing around him. Alex wanted nothing more than to curl around her, wrap his arms around her and just hold her, but her back, her shoulder, the wrist he could now see was red and swollen in the watery dawn light; she was hurt and he could do nothing but stroke her where he could touch her without making it all worse. He turned his head to bury against her hair and whisper absolute nonsense into her ear to reassure her he was not going anywhere.

A long while later when Hank fell asleep next to him again Alex felt the pressure around his calf let up realising belatedly it was Hank's foot, the human like toes had curled around his calf holding on as tightly as her hands had been. Alex looked up when he heard another sniffle seeing Raven standing above the bed tears streaming down her face.

"They beat her," she said quietly. "How could anyone do that to her?"

"I don't know but we will find them and they will pay dearly for doing it." Alex said feeling his temperature start to rise.

"But that won't help, she'll always carry the scars. The salve is supposed to help but…some of them are so deep." Raven said dropping her head into her hands. It was odd to see her so effected by anything but she and Hank were close, sharing something none of the other mutants in the mansion did, the daily physical reminder that they were different.

"We will help her, we will be here for her and when she is ready we will listen to whatever she wants to tell us and we will do whatever we can to make this better." Alex said firmly.

"You love her don't you?" Raven asked wiping a hand over her eyes trying to stop the tears.

Alex stared at her refusing to answer the question. There was a light knock on the door and then it opened revealing Charles on the other side.

"Raven?" he called looking at Alex for a moment before focussing on his sister.

Raven turned and flew at her brother allowing herself to be wrapped in his arms and soothed by his presence. "Come Raven," he said. "Let's let Alex get some sleep and we can have some hot chocolate." The door closed behind them and Alex dropped his head down to curl into Hank's neck letting himself breathe her in and fall asleep.

**TBC...**


	2. Morning

**Title – **Holding You**  
>Author – <strong>Moonbeam  
><strong>Rating – <strong>R (descriptions of whipping for torture but very lightly done)  
><strong>Summary –<strong> Hank is captured on a mission, when she comes back Alex helps her. Everything that happens causes a change in their relationship.  
><strong>Warnings – <strong>Always a girl!Hank, torture, hurt/comfort  
><strong>Disclaimer – <strong>I don't own anything, I wish.

**Holding You**  
>by Moonbeam<p>

**Part 02**

The next morning Erik charged into Charles office. "Do you know where Alex is? He is late for a training session and I cannot find him."

"He is busy doing something much more important than training."

"Nothing is more important than a training session with me." Erik said firmly.

"Your stunning ego amazes me constantly. He is with Hank."

"How is she?"

"Devastated, but when Alex is with her she is at least getting some sleep."

"What do you know?" Erik settles down in the chair in front of Charles' desk since there is no training session there was no longer anything to do this morning.

"I am trying not to look, I do know that she was not assaulted in any way we cannot see. She was whipped, she was restrained which lead to lacerations on her wrists, and the shoulder which slammed into something, probably the wall that she was attached to."

"Do you know why they picked her?"

"I have an idea, but I do not know anything."

"The serum she was working on to hide physical manifestations of mutant attributes?" Erik questioned.

"I find it hard to believe that someone could have found out about that. The only people who know about it are in this house. I assume that none of us have told anyone." Charles set out the chess set between them.

"So..." Erik asked making his first move.

"Hank used to be in the CIA, people now know she is a mutant. I wonder if a group of mutants was trying to use her to find out about what the CIA knows. Or they needed her for her brain."

"You cannot see what they did?"

"I do not want to pry, when she is ready to talk she will."

"Then how do you know she was not assaulted?" Erick asked countering Charles' move on the board in front of him.

"It was easy to pick up from the top of her brain but she was deliberately not thinking about anything else at the time." Charles reached over to pour them both a glass of scotch.

"Okay, well at the very least we can be thankful for some things."

The two of them stopped chatting paying attention to the game before them.

/ * / * / * /

Hank woke up much more warm than normal, she had slept well the night before better than she could remember having slept in a long time. She normally woke up throughout the night and ended up getting only a small amount of sleep, that was when she actually ended up using a bed and not just falling asleep at her work bench. Her back was still sore, she could feel it stretching and burning whenever she took a breath but it was better than it had been the night before. She couldn't believe how warm she was, one thing she always found in the mansion was that by the time she woke up she was cold. She had tried using more blankets but nothing had fixed the problem. This morning Hank was so comfortable and warm she didn't want to move even though her back was still sore, she must be due for more pain killers and if she didn't keep to the schedule she would be in for more pain than she already was. As she wriggled her toes she realised the pillow she was propped on had legs, her toes were wrapped around a muscled leg which must be connected to...Alex. How could she have possibly forgotten that Alex had come into her room last night and stayed with her? Wrapped his arms around her as she had cried until she fell asleep the night before. Alex who had been a confusing mixture of sweet and cruel since they had met. He called her bozo and bigfoot and bought her down lunch some days and came to find her after the focussing disc had worked to thank her while mumbling and looking at his feet before handing her a daisy he'd picked somewhere on the grounds.

Hank let her toes flex.

"That feels funny." Alex mumbled.

Hank pulled her leg back. "Sorry." She tucked her toes in and started to pull away.

Alex wrapped his arm tighter around her lower back where they had not struck her. "Hey, where are you going? Relax and uncurl those toes."

Hank stayed where she was but left her toes tucked up.

"Hank, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it; it was just a strange feeling. It's quite nice actually."

"Nice?" she mumbled into his chest.

"Yeah, last night when I was trying to get to sleep you must have been having a dream because you kept petting my leg, it was comforting helped me get to sleep." Alex tried to catch Hank's eye but she was burrowed into his shoulder and didn't seem very inclined to move. Slowly he felt her toes uncurl against his leg, she didn't resume her hold on him but she at least wasn't tensed like she had been before.

"They are weird."

"They are amazing, the things you can do with them are amazing. Hank." Alex lifted his hand to grab the back of Hank's head and lift it up so he could look her in the eye. She was reluctant but gave in to the gentle pressure of his hand. "I am so sorry I teased you about your feet. I had no right. They are a part of you. They help make you special and no one has the right to make you feel bad about them." Alex had never been good at talking to people. He'd been sent to military school when his teachers told his parents it would be good for him, he'd only been twelve. Afterwards he'd joined the army. Then the accident occurred with his powers and he'd spent time in prison trying as hard as he could to remain in isolation. He'd rarely had to deal with girls. The few he saw in the summer when he'd gone home at school. The few who worked as nurses or secretaries who didn't give him a second look because he had just been a private. He'd never liked a girl. Then he'd seen Hank across a room and he had felt like someone had sucked all the air out of the room and every damned time he opened his mouth he somehow managed to shove his foot just a little deeper inside. Before he knew it he had convinced her he hated her and yet she still made him a suit to focus his power. He'd gone into Charles' study and found a copy of something by Jane Austen and skim read until he found something romantic. He'd gone outside and looked at all the flowers in the garden and had no idea which one of them he was supposed to pick. Finally, he remembered seeing Raven and Hank sitting outside playing with daisies the other day. So he'd picked one taken a deep breath and run down to the lab before he changed his mind. Hank had blushed but she had smiled at him when he'd handed her the flower and he thought maybe things would be better and then he had called her bozo at dinner and she had stopped talking for the rest of the meal. When they hadn't been able to find Hank after that mission, when they had realised she'd been taken he'd wanted to break something. He'd spent almost three hours down in the bunker destroying mannequins. Three days is how long it took Charles and Erik to find Hank. He'd been the first in his suit, the first in the blackbird, the first in the building, he hadn't slept in three days and nothing could have kept him from that room where he had found her huddled in the corner cuffed to the wall. Erik just behind him had broken the cuffs and he'd rushed to scoop her up and get them out of there.

He had never wanted to hurt her and now he knew he needed to fix the mess he'd made, even if she never wanted anything from him that to be his friend she deserved to know how amazing she was.

Hank reached out her hand to cup his jaw. "Alex why are you being so-" she was cut off when Raven threw the door open and swept into the room.

"Oh, am I interrupting?" Raven said pausing inside the door.

"No." Alex said quickly he wasn't quite ready to know what Hank had been about to say next. "Is it time?"

"Yeah, if you handle the pills I'll get the salve." Hank sighed but lifted herself up to swallow the tablets and then burrowed her way back into Alex's side while Raven applied the salve. By the time Raven was finished and had left the previous conversation was no longer something either felt like bringing up again, the moment was gone.

**TBC...**


	3. Breakfast

**Holding You**  
>by Moonbeam<p>

**Part 03**

"I need to use the bathroom." Hank mumbled into Alex's chest.

"So do I." Alex said.

"You go first, it'll take me forever to get there."

Alex helped Hank sit up, she sat on the edge of the bed deep breathing while Alex left her to go and use the toilet. While he was washing his hands he looked up in the mirror to see Hank walking into the bathroom behind him.

"Do you need help?" He asked.

Hank coloured a deep red. "No, I am fine."

"I am going to go back to my room and get something to change into then. Do you want to have a shower? Do I need to get Raven back in case something happens?"

"I had a shower as soon as I got released by the doctor, it hurt a lot but I needed to wash that place off me." Hank ducked his head. "Plus Raven just put the ointment on and I really don't want to go through that again."

"Okay, I'll be back soon. Do you want me to get you some breakfast?"

"No, I'll go down." Hank paused.

"What?" Alex turned and looked at her.

"I want to go down."

"Okay."

"But I can't go down like this." Hank said. "And I don't think I can put any of my tops on, they will sit on my back."

"Why can't you go like this?" Alex asked moving over.

"It's not really appropriate," Hank looked down at the top which showed a lot more flesh than she ever allowed anyone to see on top of that her back was completely exposed. "I'm not even wearing a bra," she muttered not realising she was talking aloud until the last work when Alex's eyes widened; she slapped her hand over her mouth.

"I know." Alex's eyes flicked down to Hank's chest then up, flicking around the room never settling on Hank as his face flushed.

Hank blushed even more.

"Umm, sorry. Maybe you could wear something of mine. It would be big, probably hang on you a bit and maybe not irritate your back too much." Alex stared down at the tiles at his feet. He hadn't been checking her out but he had had her soft breasts pressed up against him all night and whenever she moved they moved and he couldn't stop himself from noticing. .

"That might work."

"Okay, I'll go get it and bring it back. I'm going to have a quick shower. I won't go until you're done."

Raven opened the door behind him. "Done what?"

"Going to the toilet." Alex said quickly.

"Oh Alex go away. I'll take care of it." Raven said pushing him from the room.

"No, I'll take care of it." Hank said swinging the door closed. "Ow, crap."

"Hank?" Alex stepped around Raven moving for the bathroom door. It was locked. He knocked.

"Go away Alex, seriously. Have a shower. Come back when you are finished."

Raven grabbed his elbow and pushed him from the room. "Relax, if something goes wrong Erik can open the door. Let her have at least a little privacy."

"Fine, come and get me if anything goes wrong." Alex demanded.

When Alex came back he had the biggest, softest shirt he could find in his hand and Hank was sitting on the bed, Raven was perched behind her curling her long black hair up in a braid so it wasn't resting on her back.

"Here." He said handing her the shirt.

Hank stood and lifted her arm to put the shirt on, as she stretched her back protested loudly and she froze and a groan was ripped out of her throat before she could stop it. Immediately Alex was at her side pulling the shirt away hand on her shoulder.

"Can you lift your arms?" Alex asked.

"Yeah." Hank lifted her arms straight up in the air slowly with only a slight grimace. When they were straight Alex threaded the shirt onto her arms and slid it down her body. The top rested on parts of her back but it didn't make her want to double over in pain and it wasn't as obvious that she wasn't wearing a bra so it would work perfectly.

"Are you ready to go?" Alex asked when he could see that she was comfortable.

"Yeah."

"Excellent." They both turned to Raven, remembering suddenly she was there, who had a grin on her face. "Come on."

Down at breakfast Sean stared at Hank as she walked gingerly over to the bench where Erik had put the waffles he'd made this morning after beating Charles at chess. He watched as Alex hovered just behind her flinching each time Hank reached for something and grimaced or let out a little moan. Raven stood back and watched them with a grin. Charles and Erik watched them with indulgent grins, well Charles was grinning, Erik was simply watching them with the same complete lack of expression he usually used, but something about his face was just a little softer than usual.

Alex continued to trail behind Hank as she walked to the table and sat down with a groan. He looked like he was about to beat someone up he just didn't know who. He looked angry, confused and worried. The worry seemed to win out and he reached for Hank who stopped him with a single look. "Alex, go and get some breakfast."

"Are you okay?"

"Go, please."

Alex walked over and got himself some breakfast studiously ignoring the gloating look from Raven while he got himself some waffles and sat with Sean instead of Hank who looked sad for a moment when he didn't come back. Raven took the spot across from her and started chatting about what she had missed around the mansion. Sean breaking the table in the entry way when he was playing tag with her yesterday, the way Alex had destroyed twenty-three mannequins while she was way. Raven kept talking while Hank ate her waffles and tried not to think about the conversation she almost had with Alex earlier. He had been so sweet. He'd been there for her from the second she'd come back. She remembered seeing his face in that basement they had kept her in and thinking that maybe she was going mad. Then he'd lifted her, his arms were so warm that, being held hurt almost as badly as the whipping had but then the warmth had seeped in, she'd been so cold down there the warmth was what reassured her he was actually there. That they had actually come for her.

Hank ate her breakfast quietly her body sagging by the end of it. She was so very tired, had caught up on what was only a few hours sleep last night. Even before she was taken she was behind in her sleep. All she wanted was to stumble back upstairs and curl into Alex's warmth again but she couldn't ask him to waste his whole day helping her sleep. She should be able to sleep by herself this time. After all she knew she was home how, it was daytime. She could feel the brush of Charles in her head, just on the surface checking she was okay. He had told her in the infirmary that he would not pry; when she was ready she could come to him. No one would push her and if she needed he would find the best professional they could to assist her. Hank knows she'll take him up on the offer. There is only so much that their mismatched team can do and she knows enough to know that there will be nightmares, bad days, fear over going on another mission, she objectively knows it all and even though Raven will be there and Charles will help the fact is she needs to be independent, you cannot count on anyone but yourself in this world.

After breakfast Hank says she is going down to the lab, she avoided looking at anyone knowing Charles knows she's lying, Erik probably does to because he watches and sees things the rest of the group do not. She feels Raven touch her arm.

"Do you want me to come with you?" She asks.

"No, I'll be fine. I am just going to do some reading. I have fallen behind in the last few months. Great chance to catch up." Hank can feel everyone's eyes on her even as she stands holding the small smile she pushed onto her face and the casual, happy tone she is forcing. She makes it out of the room and down the hall before she lets herself slump. She knocks the wall behind her accidently and all the air rushes from her lungs. She wanted to bend over and cry but she forces her joints to lock and wait it out. When she had developed her mutation she had been in pain for months, while her new feet grew and her body changed, growing pains normal kids called them. They had proved to her she could stand pain, something she had proven to herself again over the last few days. She knew the next few weeks would be bad but physical pain was familiar and would fade eventually.

**TBC...**


	4. Scare

**Title – **Holding You  
><strong>Author – <strong>Moonbeam  
><strong>Rating – <strong>R (descriptions of whipping for torture but very lightly done)  
><strong>Summary –<strong> Hank is captured on a mission, when she comes back Alex helps her. Everything that happens causes a change in their relationship.  
><strong>Warnings – <strong>Always a girl!Hank, torture, hurt/comfort  
><strong>Disclaimer – <strong>I don't own anything, I wish.**  
>Author's Notes – <strong>Not sure if anyone is actually reading this but I am enjoying writing it, hopefully not just for me, but if so oh well.

**Holding You**  
>by Moonbeam<p>

**Part 04 – Scare**

Hank went downstairs and into her lab. There were in fact a few journals down there she really did need to read. She only stayed for twenty minutes. Throwing away or destroying a few things in the room which had either been ruined in her absence or would be ruined by the time she got back down to the lab.

She stuck to the back hallways hoping not to see anyone. Everyone should be out doing their morning fitness routine with Erik.

She made it to her room without seeing anyone. Raven would be back in three hours to apply more salve. She wanted to have a shower before Raven did so, wash it from her skin to start again. She preferred to have a shower every morning and just before bed. But she would not be allowed to until she was healed enough not to spend most of the time in the shower crying or she could stop using the salve.

Standing in her bathroom she saw Alex's shirt, it was green and faded and so soft she didn't want to take it off but knew laying down it would only aggravate her wounds. The other problem of course being the fact she couldn't actually take it off. She hadn't been able to get it on this morning. She stared at herself in the mirror for a long time contemplating her problem.

She did not look any different. She looked tired but she had been looking tired since she went to university as a teenager. Her hair was tucked up. She had bags under her eyes and she was pale. She looked down at her wrists yellow at the edges, still violent and red with blue and purple highlights around the cuts from the shackles. Her shoulder would probably look even worse; she had been slammed into the wall a couple of times. She'd thumped into it even more than that. It would be bruised and swollen and it hurt every time she moved. If she wasn't wearing Alex's shirt she would be able to crane around and see the marks on her back. She hadn't seen them yet. She doesn't think she wants to.

The only thing she can think of is to use the door frame to hang upside down and let gravity help her remove the shirt. She is about to do it when she realises she is not alone in the mirror. Alex is standing behind her breathing too heavily and watching her.

"What?" She asks not turning holding his eyes through the mirror instead.

"Sean tripped, we went down to the lab to get you to have a quick look. You weren't there. I think I had a heart attack when I was running up here."

"I'm sorry. I thought. I'm tired. I decided to come back and rest instead."

"Don't apologise, you can do what you want I just..." Alex stopped just staring at her for a long time, by the time he spoke again his breathing is under control. "Can you get it off?"

"What?"

"The shirt, it would be harder to take off than it was to get on I would think."

"Yeah, would you mind helping?"

"Sure. Lift your arms for me?"

Alex moved into the bathroom properly watching her as she lifted her arms slowly her eyes closing against the stretch of the skin on her back. Alex let his hands rest on her hips where the bottom of the shirt is sitting. She let out a little noise and he pulled them away catching the material and easing it up. His eyes are glued on the skin slowly being exposed. Hank's skin is creamy and he knows it is soft. He also knows he is about to see the marks on her back and he doesn't want to see them, not again but he cannot help himself. His eyes track the skin revealed by the edge of the shirt, his knuckles trailing along the baby soft skin on her sides as he does, he looks for the skin between the marks, she has three freckles in a triangle over one of the bumps of the spine, a small scar near the middle of her back shaped like a crescent moon, she obviously has never been a girl to sunbath there is only white, creamy skin on her back. When he gets to the bottom of her shoulder blade the skin starts to colour, yellow first, then as it moves up it turns mottled, blue, red, purple, green and in one spot that makes his skin heat a chunk of skin has been pulled from in the very middle of the bruising. Her back is bare to him now, the shirt catches on the bulk of her braid, long tendrils have fallen free and reach right down to the middle of her back. Alex wants to curl one around his finger and watch it unravel. He lifts the shirt the rest of the way off her arms before folding it and putting it on the bench.

When Alex lifted his eyes he found Hank watching him intently, her eyebrows knitted together a little. Alex didn't know what to say. Hank didn't say anything to him just stared at him like he was one of the test tubes downstairs in her lab. Alex reached his hand out was just centimetres from touching her uninjured shoulder when Charles voice echoed through his head.

: :Alex, is Hank okay?: :

"Yes Professor," he said to the room pulling his hand back and shoving it into his pocket. He wasn't sure what he would have done when he had touched her but it probably would not have been a good idea.

: :Good, you are not needed for the remainder of the training for the day.: :

"Okay Professor."

"Everything okay?" Hank asked still watching him in the mirror.

"Fine, Charles just making sure you are okay."

"Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"You weren't in the lab."

"So?" Hank finally turned around and looked at him properly.

"I…I just didn't know where you were. Are you going back to sleep?" Alex doesn't tell her that when he went into the lab and she wasn't there. It was obvious she had been but that she wasn't anymore he hadn't had time to think, he looked at Raven and when she shook her head his brain had exploded. His heart beat too hard and he ran from the lab. He needed to know she was okay. He hadn't even really thought of anything but searching for her in that forest and not being able to find her and the way she looked in that basement and then there she was in front of him looking at herself in the mirror and his entire world spun around very quickly because he was so utterly relieved he wanted to fall to his knees and wrap himself around her and never let her go again. The violence of the feeling shook him, the look on her face holding him still.

"I am, you can go back down and train though."

"They don't need me for the rest of the day. I am available for pillow duties if wanted."

Hank stared at him for a long time, his throat clenched at the possibility of her telling him to go away.

"I…you don't really want to lay there while I sleep on you do you?"

"Yes." The answer is simple and Alex prayed that Hank won't ask why, some things cannot be explained by words and kissing her now would probably just end badly. Horridly, he'd never be able to fix anything and he certainly wouldn't be able to stay here, to hold her while she slept and know for certain she was okay.

Hank stared at him for along long minute. "Do you want a book in case you can't sleep?"

Alex doesn't explain that he didn't sleep while she was away just sat down in her lab and closed his eyes whenever someone came to check on him, everyone knew he was faking and no one said anything. He will be able to sleep, he's exhausted but his bed is cold and empty and doesn't have the added bonus of the certainty that Hank is actually here and safe. Instead he walked over to the overstuffed shelves and pulled out the first book he saw not about genetics.

He put it on the bedside table, peeled his sweat shirt off, leaving him in his singlet and the soft pants he trained in and climbed into bed. Hank moved over and got in too but hesitated when it came to actually laying down.

"Hank you look like you are about to collapse, get comfortable before you do." Alex said one arm thrown out the other waving over the portion of his chest she had used the night before. Hank smiled and sunk down onto him wriggling around a little until she got comfortable.

"You are so warm." She said when she was finally still.

"I run about five degrees hotter than the normal person."

"I know. It just feels so lovely. I always seem to be cold."

"I'll keep you warm, go to sleep." Alex curled his hand around her forearm again and could feel her long toes against his leg, he wishes she'd grip him like she did last night but it is unlikely to happen after what he said this morning.

Moments after she relaxed her entire body went limp and she fell asleep, just before she did her long toes curled around Alex's calf and he fell asleep moments after with a smile on his face.

**TBC...**


	5. Raven

**Title – **Holding You  
><strong>Author – <strong>Moonbeam  
><strong>Rating – <strong>R (descriptions of whipping for torture but very lightly done)  
><strong>Summary –<strong> Hank is captured on a mission, when she comes back Alex helps her. Everything that happens causes a change in their relationship.  
><strong>Warnings – <strong>Always a girl!Hank, torture, hurt/comfort  
><strong>Disclaimer – <strong>I don't own anything, I wish.  
><strong>Author's Notes – <strong>Such a good mood today.

**Holding You**  
>by Moonbeam<p>

**Part 05 – Raven**

Raven crept in three hours later to find Hank and Alex asleep. She watched them for a while, the way Alex's hand was buried under the bulk of Hank's braid, his other hand settled over Hank's forearm where it was laying on his chest. The way Hank's head was laying over Alex's heart, the fact her hand was curled around his side. She could see their legs tangled together and knew Hank wasn't wearing socks. Hank allowing someone to feel her feet, she wanted to go over and pull back the covers so she could see exactly how they were intertwined. She had known from that very first day when Alex insulted Hank that he was lost, he wanted her and he had no idea what to do about it. She'd watched him stuff up again and again until finally she had cornered him in the bunker just before he started training and had told him in no uncertain terms to pull his head out of his arse, tell Hank how he felt and just kiss her already.

Raven knew how hank felt, she'd guessed from early on, but one day Hank accidently confirmed it when they were down in the lab and Raven had looked at a textbook, one Hank had written and there pressed between the pages was a single yellow daisy. She'd asked the other girl, pressed when Hank coloured and muttered something about a thank you and sweet and favourite flower. Finally Raven had convinced Hank to tell her the story, of going down and testing the breastplate for Alex, of him coming into the lab flushed, he way he had thanked her and thrust the flower out into the air between them. The way she had waited until he was gone to put it in water. As soon as it had begun wilting she'd pressed it into her book, saved forever. Hank had blushed so brightly she almost turned purple. That also could have been the fifth of vodka it had taken to get her to tell the story.

It had been almost a year that their little family had been living here and still Hank and Alex were dancing around one another, it was highly annoying. They were almost as bad as Charles and Erik only they didn't have the advantage of prejudice, repression and sheer mindless will power working against them ever just sorting themselves out.

Regardless, it was time. She moved over and shook Alex's shoulder. His eyes bolted open but he did not move. It was unnerving and reminded her forcefully of Erik. "Time?" He asked.

"Yeah."

Like the previous evening Alex turned his full attention to Hank and woke her slowly and gently. She blinked up at him with a sleepy smile and his entire face shifted into a smile. Raven wanted to bash their heads together.

"I want to have a shower before we apply this time Raven, sorry I should have said something." Hank said as soon as she was fully awake. She pushed herself up until she was sitting next to Alex.

"That's fine. Alex why don't you go and get lunch, Hank and I will come down when we are finished." Raven said.

Alex ducked his head and caught Hank's eye. She nodded to him so he smiled and stood from the bed. "You need anything, just come get me." He said before slowly putting his shoes and sweatshirt back on.

"Okay," Hank said with a smile before Alex left the room. Hank took a moment before she moved across the bed and walked into the bathroom.

"Do you need a hand?" Raven asked.

"No, but could you lend me another one of these tops?"

"Sure, I'll go and get a couple so you have them here. Okay."

"Thanks."

Raven rushed from the room and down the hall to her own, grabbing a handful of halter tops before rushing back. When she is back in the room the bathroom door was closed and before she could call out that she is back she heard the most painful groans she's ever heard coming from the bathroom. Moans of pain between hisses and exclamations. Raven thinks for a second on the pain of running water over a single open wound, she wants to vomit when she thinks how much worse it would be over thirty-six of them. She knows that if she says anything Hank will go back to holding the noises in, she can see the pain Hank holds in every time the salve is applied. Raven sits on the bed and listens wanting to cry and wanting to go and get Alex because he'd have burst in there already and pulled her out.

: :Raven, are you okay?: : Charles' voice is sudden and startling in her head, he hasn't startled her in years.

: :Fine, but Hank, she's in so much pain.: :

: :I know, both of you are broadcasting rather loudly, she has a much firmer grasp on swearing than I would have thought.: : The telepathic words have the desired effect and Raven relaxes just a little and chuckles. : :Regardless of the pain Hank wants to have a shower so don't worry when she is done you can sooth her and Alex will continue to make things better in his own way.: :

: :You mean by standing next to her and loving her as obviously as he can while she is unaware.: :

: :Exactly darling, it will be okay. She is safe now. Her body will heal.: :

: :Thank you Charles.: :

: :Always: : When Charles disappears from her mind the noises have stopped from the bathroom and the water is quieter than it was before. Raven moved over and slammed the door calling out as though she just got back.

Moments later the water turned off and after a few more groans and one colourful swear word Hank opened the door and stood holding a towel over her bare chest. Raven handed over a top and Hank closed the door behind her. Moments later she stood in front of Raven clean and re-dressed.

"You may need to dry my back a little more." Hank said hand over a towel already stained red in a number of places. Hank moved to the bed, laid down on her front and braced for what Raven was about to do.

Raven took a deep breath and set to work, drying the skin and then applying a thick layer of salve. Hank seemed to be in more pain this time whether from the shower or from the lack of someone to hold onto Raven couldn't say but she finished as quickly as she could.

"You are bruising." Raven said when she was finished and washing her hands.

"The blood is being given a chance to gather now that I am healing, it will come out more over the next few days I imagine I will be positively black and blue by the end of the week." Hank said in a pained voice.

"Do you want to go and eat?"

"I need to, between the pain killers, the antibiotics, the healing process and the lack of nutrition while I was away if I start missing meals I run the risk of getting very sick."

"Well then let's go, Alex will probably be a seething mass of worry by now."

Hank reached out and stopped her. "I need the other top, I cannot go out like this." Hank said waving her hand at Raven's top.

"Why?"

"A number of factors, the lack of a bra, the lack of covering, and that everyone would have to see them. It is unnecessary."

"When you are better we are going to go out with you in one of those tops, you don't need a bra, you are covered just fine and you are very pretty in the top. I bet Alex would agree with me."

"Please." Hank said completely ignoring the comment about Alex.

Raven gathered the top and when Hank raised her arms she pushed the top down as carefully as she could until it swallowed the top half of Hank's body.

"Thank you." They both moved towards the door. "Raven? Alex, he said my toes were amazing this morning."

"Finally!"

"I don't understand he is being so nice, he was nice sometimes but now it's all the time. I don't know why."

"He was worried sick when you were gone, he didn't sleep or eat. He sat down in your lab and closed his eyes when people went in so they'd leave him alone. He only left to go to the bunker where he would burn the room."

"Why?"

"Because you were gone and he didn't know where."

"Did you sleep, or eat while I was gone?"

"Yes, but we were constantly searching. Charles spent three days with both hands stuck to the side of his head except when Erik would bale him off to bed. Erik called everyone he knew. Sean kept making toast and tea and forcing us all to eat it. Every time he saw us he feed us tea and toast. None of us knew what to do with you gone. It was terrifying."

"I see."

Raven doubted she did, at least not where Alex was concerned. But it wasn't her place to out his secret and now was probably not the time regardless. Raven stopped and pressed herself against the taller girl, wrapping her arms down low where there were not marks. "I was terrified, I love you Hank, it's like having a sister and I don't ever want you to scare me like that again."

"Never," Hank promised returning the hug. "I love you too Raven."

Raven pulled back and they walked the rest of the way to the dining room. When they got there Alex was staring laser beams at the door, he all but sagged down into his chair when they both appeared. He watched Hank go and collect a sandwich and juice. He watched her sit down gingerly and start eating and then he looked down at his own sandwich and inhaled it. Raven wanted to hug him sometimes, she also wanted to hit him and force him to sort his problems out.

"Now that everyone is here. I have an announcement. I have finally finished wading my way through enough red tape to wrap around Jupiter so we are officially an accredited school as of two days ago when the letter arrived. It wasn't important at the time and I didn't look at it but it appears we are finally a school. The Xavier-Lehnsherr Academy For Gifted Youngsters."

"Pompous prat." Erik said in a huff.

"Well the Xavier-Lehnsherr School For Mutants seemed a bit obvious Erik."

"Pompous prat." Erik repeated. Sean laughed into his orange juice while everyone else smiled at the two men as they glared at each other for just a little too long.

"Regardless, when things settle in the next month or so I am going to begin searching for students to fill our school. And it will be ours, I know we have talked about you all teaching, but it finally looks as it is coming to pass. Sean of course needs to finish his high school education, only his final exams to go and then if he can be convinced higher education is entirely possible. Hank is of course already qualified, and well the rest of you."

"And by that you mean Alex, Erik and I?" Raven said.

"Well yes, the three of you will be receiving credentials within the week."

"Pompous prat who knows how to get things done." Erik conceded.

"Yes well." Charles said smiling.

"Charles." Hank spoke up.

"Yes Hank."

"If we are to be a school, especially catering to mutants I think we need more than my first aid skills. I already have several of the required credits for a medical degree and could probably be finished in eighteen months. I hear Columbia has an excellent medical school, I had started to look into it before. I believe it might be of benefit if I were to return to school and obtain the degree."

"Excellent idea Hank, we will talk about it more. But you are quite right, we will need a dedicated doctor and neither you nor Raven seemed to like Dr Harrison."

Alex hunched over his food, eating slowly now, his appetite gone.

Lunch went longer than normal talk of the school finally starting had most people hugely excited. Alex watched Hank like a hawk, she was excited, she was discussing the different courses to be offered and what she would be teaching, she finished her sandwich and without her noticing he placed a large bowl of fruit in front of her which she ate while she was talking. Sean grinned at him when he came back to the table and elbowed him. Alex hit him on the back of the head. As talk turned to ages of students to be accepted and the size of the student body Hank began to flag. She was no longer sitting up straight and she was participating less and less in the conversation. Alex knew she needed to go back to bed but nothing was going to pull her from the conversation. Twenty minutes later Erik called an end to the conversation and sent everyone off to their afternoon activities. Alex received a meaningful look complete with eye flick to Hank as though he was an idiot who wouldn't have ended the conversation thirty minutes ago.

Alex took Hank upstairs pushed her into bed, crawled in after her and before she was even fully laying down she was asleep or so I seemed since the second she was laying against him she was still. He smiled down at her and grabbed the book from before reading until Raven came back.

Hank came down to help make dinner but no one let her near anything, she sat on one of the bar chairs and chatted to everyone instead.

After dinner they all crowded into the library to read, Hank going as well lasting a little over an hour before she shut her book and stood. Alex was steps behind her. Again she told him he did not need to do this but the relief on her face as he told her he wanted to reassured him that he was in fact helping. If nothing else she was not cold while she slept.

**TBC...  
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End file.
